Journal: Cabin Fever Stream of Consciousness on Sexy Voices and Whatnot

Photo by Elina Sazonova on Pexels.com

Friday, April 3, 2020

I can’t concentrate today. I’ve done all of the useful things I can do; all the stuff that I try to get out of the way before I start writing, which is supposed to be the fun part. I did some exercising, which I absolutely, utterly, always hate doing. I don’t understand people who enjoy working out. I do not get the endorphin rush, no matter what I do, no matter how regularly, how often, whether or what I eat before or after, or anything at all. I think I am just one of those people that does not get the endorphin rush. And that’s fine. I know it’s good for me, so I do it, in some form or other, most days, depending on my living situation and whatnot. But I don’t have to like it. If I want endorphins, I’ll study a dead language or something. Or, just as good, have sex, but that requires the active participation and consent of at least one other person, so it’s harder to come by. If I’m doing some sort of cardio thing, like walking (which is actually something that I don’t mind so much), I find that it’s better if I march in place and watch some sort of educational video that engages my intellect a bit. Like Crash Course videos or David Attenborough documentaries. Also, David Attenborough’s voice is just so fucking dreamy. Voices are way more important to me than physical appearance when it comes to what I find attractive and he has one of the best voices on the planet. I don’t care how old he is. I would walk for ages if I could just listen to that voice. So much texture! It’s like some sort of fresh but traditionally woven cloth of soft, variegated wool, rubbed between a layer of mixed sharp-and-smooth pebbles and another layer of fine sandpaper. With an English accent for good measure. I’ve seen videos of his going all the way back to the fifties, and honestly, when he was younger, his voice was a little too… clean, crisp, clear. He was a bit too charming for my taste. The seventies and eighties were kind of the sweet spot. His voice had developed some character but he was still trim and his hair had some color to it. But, at the same time, I can’t deny that his voice has just continued to ripen with age. In a good way. In a very good way. Seriously, when he starts talking about various animal mating rituals, it’s better than porn.

Hmmm… I also did laundry today. And I watched the first half hour of Barbarella (the 1968 sci-fi film), which is quite entertaining, but I think it may take me the whole day to finish it because that’s just how my attention span is at the moment. I read a few pages of an etymology book, and some anime comics by Junji Ito that a friend just recommended. I even chatted on the phone with said friend, which is unusual for me.

And now I have written… something. Whatever this is. I think the quarantine is giving me cabin fever. Hopefully I will be able to make some coherent progress on one of my writing projects later. But for now, this is what it is.

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